I have experienced a crippling anxiety about writing my last year and a half of college. I can pinpoint when and why this started to occur, but can't seem to move beyond it. Basically what happens is I'm assigned a paper to write, and I have great ideas, but somewhere between my brain and my hand or my lips, it gets lost. I've tried outlines, notecards, dictation, free-writing, everything. I am a paper and a half away from graduating, but I just don't feel like I can do it. I can't stay focused, get irritated with my senseless rambling, and think my writing is no good - which couldn't be further from the truth. It's not a question of intelligence, aptitude, or ability. I just feel stuck... and I don't have time to explore all of the bio-psycho-sociological why's and wherefore's. I just need to get it done, and, here's the kicker, done well. Any advice?
P.S. Yes, I'm a perfectionist. That's a definite problem.Can you offer any advice about overcoming writing anxiety?
Severed Conciousness - Let me outline the problem - then give a remedy I would say you have 1 of 2 issues preventing you from moving forward. Or perhaps a combination of the 2.
1 - You are afraid of success - so you procrastinate. You say your writing IS good, but feel that its rubbish. Remedy - Dont write anything or attempt to write anything for 2 days. Stop writing anything at all. Get a big , blank sheet of paper A1 size or bigger if possible. Have paint to hand - Red , yellow , blue and white. A brush and water to mix - dont use oil - get acrylic.Stare at the paper untill you feel an urge to paint it with something-try not to paint a picture you can recognise- eg not cats or people or things - go abstract - this shouldn`t take long - use the opposite hand of choice ie if you are right handed paint using the left- if no urge arrives, start with blue and feel the paint as it takes to the paper. Dont think shapes or reality here, just put paint on the paper. You will probably fill it quickly. Get another sheet and paint that. Paint untill the paper has no more to say. When youre done. Pack them away.Next day do it again Next day read comic books ar do something only fun, watch a movie etc.
Next day - before you write , Look at the blank sheet of paper. Visualize the point you are making in a thought and how all your work and summizing reaches the point. Find a starting place , then write. When you are writing, if the voice of procastination pops up suggesting your writing is rubbish, or you are on the wrong track, counter it with self belief. I can give the answer as to why this works when you have finished writing your papers. It really works.
2 - You love to leave things for the last minute and only the pressure of a real deadline will urge you into action. Solution
Wait untill the last possible moment to start writing - after using Solution 1Can you offer any advice about overcoming writing anxiety?
I think this sentence is the clue: ';I can pinpoint when and why this started to occur, but can't seem to move beyond it.';
You will need professional help to find what happened to cause this turning point that you can't move beyond. This is stifling you because you don't want to remember something or someone.
I'm a perfectionist too! So I feel your pain!Sounds to me,like a typical perfectionist, you are thinking way to much into this. Just write! Have someone check it for you..its part of writing a paper just revising. So..just write whatever you think you should..then go back later, and if it doesn't make since..switch it around, take some out, add some in. And if worse comes to worse..get some other people to help you. My friends always have my revise their paper..and it makes them feel so much better. And most importantly..write about something you like.
Being a perfectionist isn't that bad; however, it does get in the way when you overlook everything! Its like the last year of High School, you are so anxious to be done, and your mind constantly reminds you of that. I'm also very close to graduating and it is relieving to know that, but its also very frustrating to deal with the anxiety in everyday life on your way towards success. Just be mellow and let things go as they do....Let friends read over your paper's and don't underestimate their opinions. Generally things are done right the first time around.
When you say you know the reason for the anxiety, you can pinpoint it, just use that as a writing subject. Since you didn't say what it was, lets just use the example of ';I froze up during an essay exam, and flunked, and blew my A average.';
Assuming this, use that as your subject and write about it. Are you so afraid to fail again that you are afraid to try? What are the benefits to not writing...that you can stay in school longer, that you won't have to become a doctor/lawyer/teacher? What is the worst thing that could happen if you don't write a paper? What are the good things that could happen if you do? What is the worst thing that would happen if it isn't perfect?????????
Writing about the problem will likely bring it out. No fair checking punctuation as you go, no sentence structure analysis....just type. Or write. You will likely find the answer in your writing. Personally, I find that typing with my eyes closed brings out my fears and problems, and then I write in journals in longhand about the solutions.
Since you have the knowledge and skill, once you get to the root of the problem, you can get past it. So make that the goal of your writing. Maybe you need to take a semester off and try working in your desired field, and make sure that is what you truly want to do. My dime store analysis is that you probably fear graduating and going on into that field more than writing a paper.
Also, realizing that you aren't perfect is a toughie. You are probably harder on yourself than any of your professors or employers will ever be. You can still excel without being totally perfect, and you won't be beating yourself up constantly for missing a point or two... Once you start realizing that you can do a very good job and get a B, and accept that as okay, you will enjoy life much more.
It's writers block. It's all your potential waiting to explode. I've written poems that were so good they were offered publishing. But I turned it down. There was too much pain to give up my writing, because I could only write a good poem maybe twice every three years. Being a writer doesn't mean you can constantly perform. I've even corresponded to professional columnists who would rather respond with a meager reply and agree, just to be able to get a fresh point of view. You've choosen a difficult field to work in and these are the ramifications you have to deal with. You either have it, or you don't. Besides, most people who go to college for a paticular subject, end up working in a different field anyway. Be free. be wild. and run with your emotions all over the paper. You'll know in the end if it's all right for you.
