Monday, August 23, 2010

How can you stay married for life? Do you have any advice on how to stay happily married?

Don't always insist that your way is the right way.


Be considerate of your partner's feelings.


If you are upset about something, talk about it but don't yell, scream or blame.


Be honest and be fair.


Say ';I Love you'; everyday even if it's not always easy.


Don't feel that you have to always be joined at the hip with your spouse - both of you should have your own interests and friends and be okay to spend time apart without jealousy.


Don't hold grudges.


Talk about all the big steps before they happen - like big purchases (house, car), big moves (changing jobs or homes, retirement) and big changes (having children) - even though you think you both want the same things, you will find that you have differences and if you work them out before a change, things will go much more smoothly.


The main thing is just the old golden rule - treat your spouse the way that you want to be treated.


Oh - and don't give up at the first sign of trouble. You have to work hard to have something worthwhile and that includes a long, happy marriage.How can you stay married for life? Do you have any advice on how to stay happily married?
coming from someone who has never been married i think to stay married for life, you have to remember that you are not always going to be ';happily Married';. Marriage is work, and that is why there are so many divorces these days, because no one is willing to work for the person they fell in love with. so just remember that when you do get married, you will have amazing times, and you will also have times where you really have to work to keep your marriage together.How can you stay married for life? Do you have any advice on how to stay happily married?
Staying happily married is a choice. For a marriage to last for life the couple must love each other, communicate and be considerate of each other. Also couples should seek counseling regardless of if they need it or not. Everyone brings baggage to their relationship rather it's small or big baggage. Counseling will help them deal with their partners mood swings. Keeping a healthy and happy marriage together takes hard work.
The fist thing is to choose wisely before you get married. You have to have the same basic value system, and you should have similar interests. With that said, marriage is about caring enough about the other person that you would literally be willing to die for that person. You can never let selfishness rule. If you really evaluate why people don't stay married, whether it's money, infidelity, or a host of other problems, most of them boil down to selfishness. You need to place your spouse's needs ahead of your own. That's not saying to don't do things for yourself, because you do need to take care of yourself and do things for yourself. Just don't do it at the expense of your spouse.





The other bit of advice, never go to sleep until a conflict is resolved. In 25+ years of marriage, my wife and I have never gone 'till the next morning without working things out. There have been some pretty late nights, but in the end we have always come to terms.
The best idea for marriage is just keep doing it... Don't let the bad things break you up. The problem with following this idea, is that someone (who you may be married to) might have other ideas. You may be all gung ho about not fighting about something, but they may want to fight about something...You may be gung ho about moving and they may not be gung ho about moving. It's hard to keep on mind for two different people unless one or the other does a lot of compromise.
My personal response is through healing yourself, so before even entering a relationship you are as wholly yourself as possible (this also implies maturity in age).





Through years of various forms of counseling and self-help books, one of the best resources I've found that contains simplified, practical, effective answers to your complex question are the writings by author Laura Schlessinger. The titles of her books are cheeky, but if you can get beyond them, they contain the jewels for a well-lived marriage.
Tera had a good point that I'd like to elaborate on. She said not to sweat the small stuff, and to ask yourself how important something really is. I'd like to add the thought process I use with this is ';How much is this REALLY going to matter a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, and 5 years from now?'; If the answer is ';not much'; to any of those options, then I try to let it go! It really helps things out.





Also, be sure to respect one another's feelings, and really LISTEN to one another.





Be affectionate, considerate, loving, and tender.





Go on dates with your spouse still on a regular basis.





Read the ';fight fair'; guidelines link I've posted - it works wonders if you follow it!http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/single鈥?/a>
One thing my grandma told my mom and my mom told me was to not sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. The little things like not replacing the empty toilet paper roll used to drive me nuts. Until my mom gave me the talk about not sweating the small stuff. Before you fight about something ask yourself is it really that major? Is it worth it? Oh and don't go to bed angry. Work it out, listen and communicate with your partner.
Do things together that make you laugh.


Hold hands.


Kiss each other several times a day.


Always say I love you.


Find common interest and do them together.


Participate in his interests.


Make sure he participates in your interests.


Never hold a grudge longer than a few days at most.


Be understanding.


Never let the sexual spark die.


Be adventurous together.



only been married 8 years so not sure if I'm qualified to answer but I'll tell you what I learned:





Focus on what you can do to make things better, not what your spouse does that bothers you.


Talk open and honestly about everything. Even things you think your spouse will get upset about.


Watch how you say things to your spouse (i tend to be sarcastic).


Keep the sex interesting.


Find time to spend alone with each other.


Touch,hug and kiss often.





And remember...marriage is hard work. Its not always easy.



Grow together as a couple or you will drift apart.


Change is inetible you have to change as a couple.


Both for the other not for yourself.


Remember you can't control your spose but it won't work unless both of you want it tobe
Try not to yell when you get mad. Don't get physical...keep a regular sexual pattern...try to keep your vacations planned together. Try to be consistent with each other and in front of the kids. Take Care
Read your bible and live the way Jesus Christ created us to be towards our husband/wife. It may not be easy but God will give you life if you live it according to him.
Honesty is not always the best policy.
Hope for a short life. Other than that there is no hope.
SEX, don't stop having it, and make SURE it's fun for both!

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